Hometown - New Town

 

I am sure you people must have heard and read stories of how people from small towns moved to cities and dreamt of a certain kind of life, how they fulfilled their big dreams etc. Well, today I am going to express my thoughts on the same. I was contemplating on my next topic when I came across this (to be honest, I was out of topics), so I thought, why not. So, let’s start with my virtual gossip session.

I come from a small city. It’s only recently that my city is developing and coming on the map of development. It has some of the finest educational institutions, an airport, a state legislative building, big shopping malls and complexes. And yet, at the heart of it, it’s just another small city, where people know each other and have ‘mutual – mutual’ friends. It’s a place where gossip spreads in one school and reaches the other in hours. There are numerous temples and there are various cafes. Tagged as the ‘Mahabaleshwar of poor people’, this city has the most pleasant climate all year round, be it the cosy winter or the romantic rains. We have our unique dialect that was the result of two languages coexisting peacefully and the junction of two cuisines becoming one. It has the best of the south Indian food and the pleasant western Ghat weather. Dussehra and Diwali are celebrated with the same pomp and appe (fadd) are loved as much as modaks. The best of the Karnataka, Maharashtrian and Goan cuisines assimilated to give Belgaum its unique delicacies.

Naturally, it was a big change for me to shift from a small city to a metropolitan city. New places, new customs, new people, new teachings and a new budget! It was a big change. The moment I moved to pune, I knew my life was about to change. I was walking on a new path and I had to keep the old path in my heart to keep me going. The first few days, I was amazed at the lifestyle of the people living there. All the shiny big malls, tall buildings and classy hotels. Yes, we do have good cafes and hostels back home but I am talking about the time I shifted here in 2017.

The first week I was here, I went out for coffee at a good café and was shocked to see the prices. I just kept down the menu card because there was no way in this world I am going to spend 150 or 200 rupees on a simple cup of coffee. Let me just confess it to people (at the fear of being ostracized), not even once in my life have I stepped in Starbucks. Nor do I plan to. I live by the mantra that just because I can afford doesn’t mean I should. Some may call me a miser and a boring person (I have heard people call me these names behind my back, not that I care). I don’t get the logic behind spending almost 200 rupees for a cup of coffee which I can get for 20 rs or just make it at home within 5 minutes. So this was the first shock. This brings back some funny memories. It was my first day in my graduation college and I went into the college cafeteria for a cup of coffee. I was alone and the café was crowded. My introverted soul was panicking inside. And I took my cup of coffee and walked towards the sitting area. There was no empty table. So I asked a girl who was sitting alone whether I could join her. As I asked her I kept my cup on the table and look at my precious luck, the cup fell and the coffee was spilt. I was living the nightmare of every socially awkward girl when the whole cafeteria went silent. But within 5 minutes the cafe was full of buzz again. Giving me an important life lesson. Nobody cares for what others are doing so stop being such an awkward person, and also, please don’t be such a butterfingered girl.

The moment I stepped into the city I felt like a cat thrown in water. I am in awe of people who can strike up conversations with strangers and warm up to people quickly. It takes me more than 15 working days to even muster the courage to say hello. I saw how bold and open the people around me were. They asked for what they wanted, without shying away and expressed themselves clearly. I would stare with a mixture of wonder and respect.

Going shopping was another shocking experience. In my city, I usually brought my clothes from the local shops. Seeing some of the price tags here I wondered whether we should collectively go back to the era when humans wore leaves and barks of trees. Even today when I enter some of the malls, I feel a weird feeling of discomfort, almost as if I don’t belong here. I roam around quietly and speed up my pace to get out of it as soon as I can. Something about the sights of those stylish showrooms and the air-conditioned offices brings out the deep-rooted anxieties in me. Fortunately, I don’t experience this every time I visit such a place. (I thought a lot about whether I should add these sentences or not, it felt like being vulnerable and sharing one of my deepest secrets but then I figured if even one person can relate to this and express themselves then why not.)

The first time I shifted to the hostel, as I unpacked my bags and set up my room, I remember feeling scared and nervous. I was pretty sure I was going to get isolated amongst all because of how backwards I was in terms of the usual city standards. I wasn’t extroverted and open, nor stylishly dressed or carried those cool things or visited cool places. It was only in my first year here that I got a “hairstyle”, till then it was a U or V cut hair. Fortunately, in my second year, I met a friend in my Pg who is now like an elder sister to me. She introduced me to the world of styles, dresses, night drives for ice-creams and fancy cafes. She took me to shopping malls and helped me find my style. She got me ready for college functions being more enthusiastic than me. Slowly I gained confidence.

When I first shifted to this place, I was hesitant to go out alone even for a cup of tea, I always went out in groups. It was only when I had to go out to a place and had no option but to go alone did I finally gain the confidence to go and explore the places on my own. That was the time I tasted independence and I loved it. I had found confidence, and after that never have I shied away from going alone to roam on my own. I went to the movie theatres, saw dramas and went out to eat at restaurants alone. It is a truly transforming experience.

One major change that takes place is when you go to a different place and are struggling to make friends and form bonds and you see your city hometown friends being together and having fun. You feel disconnected from your place and don’t feel a connect with the new place. It’s a weird place. But fortunately, it’s a temporary phase. Time sorts out everything.

Coming from small towns and cities with limited growth opportunities and less worldly knowledge, people often struggle to find a strong base, to build a strong foundation. We struggle emotionally, socially, culturally as well as financially. When I was still at my home I don’t think I ever thought twice before spending money. But when I moved to this city I had a separate account book to keep track of my expenses, I classified things in my needs and wants and thought carefully before spending money. The fact that our parents are working to provide us with a good life and even send us extra money so that we don’t live like a miser in a new city made me feel mixed emotions. I felt both fortunate and guilty. Thanks to god, I came from a normal socially privileged background. I wonder what people from not-so-privileged backgrounds feel and what they struggle through to live in new places. I have the choice to either spend or not spend that money but some people don’t have such a choice. Maybe one day I will be strong enough to help uplift others, to give it back to society in some way.

Writing this blog made me realize that I could come up with a separate blog for my home sweet home, Belgaum. Do tell me in the comments whether you people would love to read about my city.